It’s raining. This is Okinawa’s equivalent of a snow day. Since it is a Sunday and we had church last night we spent the morning skyping with friends, playing Go Fish and Old Maid, tackling each other, and doing laundry. Then Barrett took Annabelle to Awana so I could quietly read and write (with no arithmetic). When they return, we will pop pizza in the oven and watch a cooking show or a movie. I love these days of rest…especially after a long week.
Last week I had an opportunity to facilitate a converstaion about what submission looks like in marriage to ladies in our church and was so encouraged by their questions and honesty. We talked about how difficult submission is and that it is also an indicator of how little we truly trust the Lord with our husbands and marriages. Then I came home and promplty missed a chance to submit to Barrett. Nice.
A couple days later we attended a one day marriage retreat (that Barrett set up) and as we sat knee to knee discussing prompted topics, we found ourselves getting riled up over things we thought we had put behind us. As time had it, we didn’t have the opportunity to close those topics leaving us both a bit raw. Then, a few days after that, we managed to have a fight in front of Annabelle that led me to tears, Annabelle to confusion, and him to frustration.
As all of you know, life is not just our immediate families and what we do at home. So in the midst of our raw emotions, we went to work, drove Annabelle to her events, cleaned, cooked, met with friends, got ready for sermons, and collapsed at night. In my mind I realized that I should not be surprised that our marriage was spiritually attacked, yet I was. It seems like the more we invest in others or our marriage, the more Satan loves to sneak in doubts and miscommunication to help trip our walk.
The amazing thing is, God has us. Unexpectedly, some friends took Annabelle for a day and told us to have a date. So we were able to work throught things that I thought would not be addressed for a long time. We have so many irons in the fire at this place in our journey that we forget that our marriage will outlast all the changes. I often work issue by immediate issue instead of thinking long term in how my relationship with Barrett will be affected. Or…I think a small issue has derailed our entire marriage and there is no hope.
So here I sit, writing on this rainy day contimplating once again my lack of trust in my Creator God. And also in awe of the one who took a week of busy and spiritual mayhem and made it good with pizza and a movie where my family once again enjoy each other and have each others back.