“How God thinks of us is not only more important, but infinitely more important.”
C.S. Lewis claims this. In other words, the fundamental thought of God is not what or how we think of Him, but what God thinks of us. Phew. Let me think about that again.
My mind is delving my past thought processes and I realize that I have judged my worth to God and society by what I do or accomplish. If there is praise, then I must be honoring the Lord. If there is pain or disappointment, I have done something against the Lord. Yes, I realize that my theology does not claim this, but my practical theology does.
My first wake up to this was getting married. I no longer laid claim to my own life, I was given to another. How I honored him, in my mind, is how I pleased God. I judged my days work worth in view of honoring my husband and completing my daily tasks. When he was gone, a bit of my worth went with him.
Then, we moved to Okinawa and I had no job, a child wiggling inside me, and no friends. I judged my worth by honoring my husband, cooking, cleaning, eating and exercising right for my baby, and serving women. I thought this is what God wanted.
Out bursts Annabelle and now I judge my worth and worth to society by how I raise her and how she behaves. I didn’t realize how much this ruled me until I had time alone when Barrett took her out. How can I earn my worth when the child that was entrusted to me and the husband I respect are gone?
My stomach is tightening. I realize that my view of God is shown by my hearts belief and actions. I believe that God is pleased only when I do what I believe pleases Him. I act like my worth to Him vanishes when I don’t have a 9-5 job, go to school, raise a child, or honor a husband. My theology doesn’t claim that, but my practical theology does.
So, C.S. Lewis…you pen these words and give me pause. I’m viewing God upside down! I need to remember what He thinks of me, not what I think of Him. What does He think of me? Oh sweet words in Ephesians: Saint, with grace and peace, Blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing, chosen before time, holy, blameless, predestined and adopted, for His praise, redeemed in Christ, forgiven of all sins (ALL), lavished in grace, united to Himself, having an inheritance of heaven…and that’s just Ephesians! The entire Bible tells me how God purposed salvation from the very beginning and covenanted to keep His people and give them Eden back. This is what God thinks of me, He told me in His Bible letter.
Funny thing is, when I start with how God thinks of me, my view of Him is corrected! I have a heart heaped with thankfulness and joy! Each day is a gift from Him and He is working it for my good and His glory! My worth is not defined by action or non-action, my worth is declared from a Holy God Creator who delights in those He adopted in Christ. Praise Him!