As the frigid air covers most of our native land, the air here is becoming hot and humid. Just as those who become depressed as the darkness of winter and cold blanket the land, I feel my own heart getting heavy as the realization of a down comforter of stifling heat is about to be placed over our small island. Its amazing how weather can influence our mood.
As I think of other things that have affected me lately sports comes to mind as well. My Patriots lost to the Denver Broncos two weeks ago and our house was filled with Bronco fans and me wearing the lone Brady Jersey…well, except for Annabelle. I forced her into a Pats cheerleader uniform for moral support. Yet, the day ended gloomy for me and glorious for Barrett and our friends. Sports, sadly, affect my mood too.
I put a pumpkin loaf in the oven just before I started writing this and the smell of pumpkin baking is now making my heart a little lighter. I guess smells can also affect my mood.
Surprise! This past month I have been moody. Life has continued to be busy with church, Annabelle training, gymnastics, story time, writing, working, shopping, serving, small groups, and spur of the moment events. I have also started attending a mom prayer group and a Bible Study. On top of all this, I have been really dealing with my heart as well. So I can start the day in one mood and it end in another…not to mention the ups and downs that happen each minute after a tantrum from Annabelle or an unexpected change of plans.
I’d like to say that I take every thought captive to Christ, think on things that are right, holy, true, and pure, and remember that I am more than a conqueror in Christ, but I forget. I let my outside circumstances and uncontrollable things affect me. I have to say, that I have been surprised at how the Lord has used my daily Bible reading to convict me. I have read about hope, fighting for joy, what it means to have joy in trials, what friendship is, and remembering the cross. Its almost comical how the Lord slaps me with the verses I need when I seem to be at my whit’s end. To be honest, I almost get angry because I want to wallow and say that the Lord can’t fix me. But He can. He knows that I need a good dose of truth in the depths of my soul to help me deal with the craziness of life and my own sin. So I press on.
With that in mind, I feel that I should update you all with news that we just received from our agency. They are telling us that we will probably not get a referral till November. That means that it’s possible we won’t have our kids till next year. So what to do. I’m not going to challenge the sovereignty of God or His goodness. I know that this is not a surprise to Him or His second best. He knows us. He knows our family. He knows my age. Please pray with us as we trust the Lord with this news. Many things can be affected with not receiving our children for another year. Pray that we will fight for joy and be thankful for what we have and not dwell on what we don’t. Man, that goes for every area in my life right now.
Well, the pumpkin bread is almost done. Its bringing a smile to my face as I remember fall days, New England leaves, time with friends and family over coffee and treats, and the friend that sent me the mix. I am thankful that the Lord created us with such a glamorous and robust world that we can sense in so many ways! I am thankful for sports, games, and good books. Hmmmm…my mood is a little better. =0)