“Give him a high five!” I tell Annabelle. She smiles widely and throws out her high five but hits the little Japanese boy square on the head. DOUGH! Ummmm…quick recovery…”Give him a fist bump!” She again smiles broadly, throws out her punch and lands it boldly on the boy’s head. I mumbled how sorry I was, smiled awkwardly and took her away by the hand. We were in a Japanese park and she had walked over to the boy, who was about her age, and I thought we’d have a sweet cultural interaction. Yeah, brut American vs quiet Japanese. Figures.
She continued to walk around trying out the slide, wooden train, and bouncy things in the forest like park. It’s weird, I feel the urge to speak to the parents who are also eyeing their kids but none of us knows the other’s language. So we smile, laugh, and lead our children in careful interactions. The sweat poured off Annabelle as she joyfully patted, stared, and sat with the boys and girls her age. We may be in a tiny Babel, but being a parent is the same.
My time with Annabelle has been fun. She is growing up so quickly. The other night I had made some guacamole to go with my dinner and she watched curiously as I dipped my chip in the bowl. She stretched out her chubby arm for a chip and chirped for me to give her the bowl. Then with all the seriousness this 16 month old could muster, she “dipped” her chip in the guac like mom. Hilarious! She didn’t get a smudge of the foreign green stuff, but that didn’t matter to her. So for the rest of dinner we dipped our chips together.
Parenthood, I find, is filled with moments of greatness and horror: from cuteness to hitting, from dipping chips to throwing fits, times of tickles to times of tears. Of course as new parents we were warned of these moments, but they always seem to come when I least expect or want it. How do I train this amazing living gift that the Lord has given me? How do I know when its time to discipline, give grace, or just give a hug? Why does she disobey even though she knows there will be a consequence?
Yeah, sounds familiar. I realize now more than ever, my childlike behavior to the Lord. Yet He continues to give me grace when I do the same sins over and over and over and over again. I even know the consequences and still I sin. Lame. Then I realize that that is why Jesus came, to live the perfect life that I never could, so He could ultimately pay the price for the sin that I committed. Not only that, but then He gave me His righteousness so that I could become a child of God! This has changed my life! I no longer live to earn grace and favor, I have been given mercy and grace so I live out my thankfulness to my Savior.
I desire for Annabelle to have this grace gift too. In a way, her sin will show her a need for a Savior which is a good thing. I just don’t want her behavior to change, I want her heart to be made new! I pray that Barrett and I will be faithful to show Annabelle that there is hope for her sin. There is a Savior for her if she repents and believes! I pray the Lord will open her eyes to the truth, as He is the one who makes the blind see and the dead come to life. May we parent Annabelle out of the grace the Father has given us.