Changes. Changes of schedules. Changes of life stages. Changes of locations. Changes of friends. Odd, isn’t it? That major changes happen as an overlay to our normal daily lives. I’m still cooking, still running, still typing, yet changes are happening all around me. I’ve had some of my closest friends on island leave in the past month, the Commanding Officer of the MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit) changed last week, and tomorrow Barrett’s Commanding Officer is changing. Annabelle is now eating real food and drank her first entire sippy cup of water last night. These seem to be substantial long lasting changes, yet the daily grind seems to go on unchanged. Odd.
I’m one of those people that loves to be on cruise control. I like to live a consistent life to limit the amount of thinking and changing I have to do. Just like driving on the highway, I do everything in my power not to hit the breaks to stop the cruise control…even if that means swerving to avoid a car or allowing my car to almost kiss the bumper of the car in front of me that isn’t going quite fast enough. So in the midst of these major changes, I’m swerving to stay on cruise control.
I’ve come to realize how much my desire to cruise actually cost me more energy and pain in the long run. I exacerbate my husband and daughter with my lack of joy in a swerve, I spend more time, energy and mind bending to try and keep status quo than it would take to go with the flow of the change, and all this lends me to be a dripping faucet in the lives of whom I drive too close. Then the brakes are tapped. My face falls and I honestly feel furiously frustrated. Doesn’t the Lord know that I drive best when on cruise control?
How prideful is that? Eegads. I think I know how to best run my life more than the one who made my life. Not only that, I’m so quick to tell others about the sovereignty of God in life events, yet I am blinded to it in the “mundane” times in my own life. One of these days I will realize this earthly life is about the sanctifying journey, not the check marks beside the journey’s tasks. The Lord delights in showing us the beauty of slowing down to enjoy the traffic stops. The people we meet (if only for a short time), the unexpected tourist exhibits that bring a new perspective and freshness to life, and even the chance for a catnap along the way. In fact, I find the Lord deepens my relationship with friends, loved ones, and even strangers through the bumps and brakes along the way.
Changes. I pray the Lord will use them to soften my heart to Christ likeness, rather than allow me to swerve to avoid them.