In case some of you were wondering about our friend Aya, joyfully, she is still around. In fact, Annabelle and I got to see her twice last week. She is one of our favorite people with her sidewise smile and trendy threads. Friday I got a text from her asking if she could stop by after work as she had an important question to ask. Of course! In the hour or two that ensued, my mind try to think of every question she could ask. Well, as is usually the case, it was something I totally did not expect.
“Should I ask my boyfriend to marry me?”
Huh. Never would have dreamed up that one! She lives with him and has lived with him for almost a year now. He is being deployed to Afghanistan in a couple of months and when he gets back he will go to his new duty station. Aya is worried that if he doesn’t ask her to marry her soon she will not have enough time to get the paperwork done so she can go with him. What would you say? I struggle with wanting to give her all of my theology with a fire hose.
Skip ahead a couple of days when she comes back, falls dramatically into one of our chairs and tells me how her boyfriend told her she either quits her job or moves out. He wants his place to be one of refuge and when she complains about little things all the time it stresses him out. Another opportunity for a fire hose, should I take it?
Yet another friend came over who told me about her life and I must admit, she has one of the most egregiously painful stories I have ever heard. So much so that her mom being married to another woman for 12 years is a good thing. She came by to tell me that she is now seeing the light and wants to better herself. No more drinking, no more objectifying herself, no more hanging out with those that do. The problem is, she thinks she can do it by herself. Fire hose?
My heart breaks even as I share the gospel with them. Why? Because no light comes on, just a nod of the head and the look that says “whatever works for you is great!” I find it tough to casually counsel biblically. How do I counsel someone when I may only have one shot at it and they have no biblical reference at all? When they have never even heard of David the shepherd king or owned a bible? How do I touch on their issues when there are so many they dove tail together? Where do I begin when I am overwhelmed with all of the issues and can’t seem to triage in time?
I look back on my talks with these dear women and see where I made mistakes. I find that sometimes my desire for them to like me and come back drives the truth from my lips. In my heart I know that they need to be loved with the hard truth. Yet when I give them the hope of Christ and the dull glassy cataract stare looks back at me my heart wilts. Please pray for these women. Pray that the Lord will remove the cataracts and make them see and pray that I will love them enough to give them the truth that heals.