Annabelle’s feet flopped over the bouncy chair today. When did that happen? She is as long as her crib is wide. How can that be? The past two weeks have flown by and, except for markers like these, I would be too lost in the business of the days to notice these fun form changes. I have found myself so worried about her eating, pooing, and sleeping that I have forgotten to hold her a minute longer and stare at her one more time before kissing her goodnight.
These weeks have been full of deployment briefings, hail and farewell’s, Bible studies, and moments with friends. We have had Marines over for dinner and been guests ourselves. Annabelle has been in and out of the car seat more than a snake sheds its skin. We’ve gone to the commissary, library, coffee shop, and hospital. We have traveled to Barrett’s office, to church, and to lunch. In the midst of all this we try and nap, have tummy time, and see if she will smile for real and not just out of gas. Phew! Somewhere in this madness she has grown out of her hair and pood out of her diaper. Where does time go?
We are trying to make our days count as we count down to Barrett’s leaving for another few months. What do we prioritize? How can we make each moment memorable? He stares at her while she lies on his chest in her pink onesie. He wakes her up from her nap and sings a silly song. He runs to change her diaper as that is one more look into her big blue eyes and a rub of her cherub cheeks. Its amazing how special moments like these often pass me by in the drudge of my daily walking slumber. How can I miss such sweet sentimental moments of serenity?
I find my faith walk mirrors this account. I am a task-oriented person who loves to follow the rules and standards set before me. Give me a specific goal and I will run to fulfill it. I check off my daily Bible reading and prayer, go to church, pray for my friends and family, and make sure I am excelling still more at being a wife and sister in Christ. In the midst of this, I forget to savor Christ. I neglect to meditate longer on a sweet passage of Scripture or take a moment to sing a song of praise. I ignore opportunities to be thankful for His joy in my satisfaction in Him. I ignore the grace and forgiveness that comes from resting in the gospel. I forget to love His people the way He loves them. I forget to just be with Christ. I focus on my performance rather than my position in Christ. Crazy huh? The things we love the most we lay aside first thinking they will understand. But then weeks go by and the sweetness of a consistent, loving, and nurturing relationship melts like snow on a sunny day. How sad to miss the smell of Annabelle’s head as I snuggle her to my chest? How much more grievous to miss the savor of Christ for another check off my ministry checklist? May I linger a little longer this week on both.