Let’s see: study for midterms, go to class, re-write notes, quiz, two papers, read about 200-300 pages from various books and articles, cook, clean, try to see my long lost friends from Starbucks, go to the nursing home, church, choir, date night (?), quality time with Barrett (?), spend time with Betsy, exercise, leaving time for random meetings, oh yeah, and go to work. My to do list for next week.
I’ve been stressed. Maybe overwhelmed. I laid in bed last Friday morning not wanting to get up and face the world. “Can we ignore everything for a day?” I asked Barrett. This week I have been on cruise control…and continue to be so. Being single it worked out way better because my dealings with people were usually brief and my mad rushes in a frantic pace didn’t affect too many people. But now I affect Barrett. Tiredness led to frustration and no brain-mouth barrier. Its not like we had anything major, it was just little things like sand in a gear or a dripping faucet that let sparks fly. Why can’t I just let things go? The days of sleeping to get away and disappear are gone, facing my sin head on is now the brutal norm. Getting over myself and my own quirks has been mental gymnastics but in a way, Im so thankful for this opportunity to conform to Christ that singleness didn’t offer.
So, after an elongated stay at Starbucks where I caught up with all the new stuff happening with my friends, I peddled hard to get home before Barrett left for school (Oh yeah, the foot and a half of snow from this weekend has now turned to 60 degree short-wearing weather!). I needed to get on the above-mentioned list but as I screeched into the garage, Barrett’s bike was gone. Bummer. Betsy said he left early. I had so much to tell him!
I went upstairs to shower and clean and see a gazillion bright pink sticky notes covering my computer screen: “The bathroom is clean”, “trash is taken out”, “I also dusted the floors”, “Laundry is done”, and “dusting is done up and downstairs”, “Oh, and I love u”. Wow! This plus a red rose on the side of my desk.
What a blessing and encouragement that I don’t deserve. So, Barrett (at school early for some reason), thanks. Thanks for serving me and being like Christ. I hate falling into self pity and getting overwhelmed. I hate choosing to be frustrated instead of showing grace. Forgive me for that. Maybe I’ll see you sometime tonight after work, enjoy the sunshine! =0)
So the lessons keep on coming. Same old sins rearing their ugly head in new hats. What a joy that our Savior doesn’t ever love us more or less based on what we do or don’t do. His choice is never contingent on my actions. Oh to flesh that out myself…ok, back to the books!