She Didn’t Waste Her Sickness

Annabelle was patient zero.  It was just two days after Christmas and she was laid out with a fever, lack of energy, cough, and endless snot.  Unfortunately, the three of us followed a day later.  We missed church and laid on the two couches for a week.  A week!  All of you who know me and the twins will understand how unheard of this was.  I barely cooked.  We barely ate.  Tissue boxes disappeared faster than cupcakes at a four year old party.  After two weeks, we finally saw a doctor.  We were cleared even though symptoms remained.  I still have coughing spasms come on so strong and fast that it takes my breath away.  I can’t run or exercise.  Honestly, I’ve never felt like this.  We missed New Years and all events during the rest of winter vacation.

I don’t write this for sympathy.  I’m writing it for contrast.

I made a fast friend the first day we went to Hampton Roads Fellowship.  I was introduced to Shaina because she was Puerto Rican!  She grew up in Guaynabo which is right next to Bayamon, where we were.  We shared stories of food and culture and I walked away wanting to know her more.

The next time I saw her she was pale and weak…and it was only 6 days later!  I was told she was in the hospital for another treatment.  She had cancer.  Her mom had died from cancer at a young age too.  Shaina completed a treatment, yet so desired fellowship that she persuaded her husband to bring her to a sweltering park in the middle of the day so her three boys could play at the church’s kids program fun day.  I was there too trying to meet new people and letting my kids run around.  She smiled sincerely and hung out until her loving husband, Kevin, said it was enough, they needed to go.  I was so impressed with his care for his wife, not just bringing her to have fellowship, but lovingly leading her to rest before she was ready.  Yet she followed.

After that, Shaina had one more treatment to try right when school was about to start.  She missed sending her third son to kindergarten, but made sure to pick out his outfit.  I wept with her when she said the treatment, if successful, would give her a few months.  A few months.  She fought mightily.  And here is where the contrast comes in.  Where I groaned, she gave of her time.  Despite her weakness and pain, she painted the new church building when she had a good day.  She made sure she wished every church member a happy birthday…which means she researched when their birthdays were and acted on it.  Where I asked my pastors to pray for us, she rather encouraged them by telling them how their sermons encouraged her.  Where I skipped bible readings on mornings, she had a lady come and disciple her each week.

Shaina died on Christmas.  I wept.  We went to her memorial service and over 500 people packed the building.  There was standing room only.  Everyone I met had a Shaina story.  We all remarked how she never contrived her niceness…we all could tell she sincerely wanted to be like Jesus.  She saw the downtrodden and hugged them.  She heard of the sick and brought them soup and crackers.  She started a family tradition of blessing a church member randomly, whether it was Gatorade a couple days before a race, or delivering  a chick fil a breakfast for someone just coming back from the hospital.  She found ways to encourage rather than complain.  And so much of this was done while she was sick and in pain.

I don’t know why the Lord took Shaina so young.  I can’t explain why the Lord took this sweet servant home while leaving her boys behind.  I do know all of HRF mourned with many tears.  Yet we mourn with hope, her cancer is cured, her Saviors’ face is seen!  Oh how I rejoice for this and yet my heart hurts as I miss my wanna be longtime friend.  This friend that showed me how to be sick well.  This family witnessed to us how to face death head on and with a purpose. She didn’t waste her life.  She didn’t waste her sickness.  She didn’t waste her death.

So now as my coughing continues to take my breath away and the tissues continue to make our trash look like snow balls, I marvel even more at how this woman served in her weakness.  We sang “Is He Worthy” this week at church (a day after her memorial service)…do I believe He is worthy when He takes Shaina away?  Do I believe He is worthy when I mourn for the boys and husband left behind?  Do I believe He is worthy even though I will never know why He did what He did?

In my sick broken voice I proclaimed loudly with the rest of HRF:  HE IS!!

Thank you Lord, for teaching us so much through the legacy of Shaina.  We are all better for knowing her.