Military life. It’s such an odd thing. The other day someone was talking to Annabelle about George Washington. In an attempt to show that she knew who he was, she promptly snapped to attention, saluted, and then bowed in respect. Her little brain pulled her respect handles from Okinawa and the military, then merged them into one. I smiled understandably as I still form my arms into an “X” when I say no to people, just as the Okinawan’s did to us. I have to admit anxiousness with reentering American culture as my greetings have gone from handshakes to the Puerto Rican side kisses. Here, a hand shake is only used to pull the other person in for a kiss. I’m sure this will make unsuspecting friends recoil in surprise and awkwardness as I lean in forgetting where I am.
Military life. It’s so awkward. I run in the morning as usual and my route takes me on a bike path next to the Bayamon River. What makes me freeze is when someone greets me as I pass. Whether it’s an “Ola” or “Bueno dias” I forget how to answer. Is it “Ohayo gozaimasu”? Or did they greet me in English? Often I return their greeting with some smattering of sounds rather than a clear good morning in any language. I just shake my head afterward wondering when I’ll finally get it.
Military life. It’s surprising. I felt like I got a rite of passage this week. I had to rush into our local Costco for a pizza this week. Barrett was home so I got to go without the kids who are usually chatting away in the cart as we pass by the century checking our Costco membership card. This day, since I was on a mission, I tried to hurry past without showing my card. The man called out to me, looked, and then pronounced, “Oh, I know you. Go ahead”. WOW! The workers at Costco know me! Then a few days later, I had all the kids as I was entering the commissary. I have to show my military ID card and as I was fishing for it, the lady checking cards says to me, “WOW, they are getting so big”! I smiled. It’s amazing, not only does she know me and my kids, she recognizes how much they have grown! The odd and almost sad thing about these greetings is that just as we are becoming known, we are leaving. We will be forgotten and replaced just as we try and form a new community somewhere else.
Military life. It’s hard. Once we land in a new location and community, we don’t have the luxury of years to find our place. We have to push ourselves into people’s lives and schedules. The good thing is, they don’t know our baggage or idiosyncrasies. The bad news is, we don’t have close friends that have known us for years dropping in on us to help us through difficult times, share a laugh, or call us out on sin. We can hide behind manufactured facades and only let people see what we want them to see for three years or we can bite the bullet and allow people in on our rawness and reality of life. Both choices have pluses and minuses and I admit to trying both options at times.
Military life. It increases my faith. Although our home moves every few years and we lose and gain friends, my God is still there. He has known me since before I was born. He knows my weaknesses and strengths and loves me the same. He is sovereign and control of each house, neighbor, and church we find. When our home life seems like its spinning out of control with deployments, school options, and tiredness, I know that I serve a Savior who has also been deployed from his father, who struggled with temple schools, and who not only got tired, but also weary as he did life with his friends. Yet he persevered, pressed on, and fought the good fight of trusting the Lord and loving his neighbor…even to death. I use those words purposefully knowing that I should expect nothing less than this same fight…even if it leads to the death of those I love. My faith increases as it is tested in these ways. He has proved trustworthy. He has lifted my head as my heart screams in sorrow. He has comforted me on days when Barrett is gone and I can’t emotionally love my kids anymore. He has encouraged me through a friend’s knock on my door, text, or message when I need it most. And he has never left me alone or hopeless. He is the God who sees me. He solved my deepest need at the cross, my sins are forgiven! He gave me his righteousness when he arose three days later so I can stand before God stainless. What else can this world or military do to me?
Military life. It has taught me so much.